Friday, February 15, 2013

My girlfriend is better than yours.

My girlfriend (don't worry, mom, I'm not a lesbian) is awesome.

She knows just how I want to spend my Valentines Day. We had the best time together.

1. My girlfriend knows that I absolutely abhor being late to work, so she went to bed early AND made sure she was up on time to get me to work 5 minutes early at 4:40 a.m. We're still working on the whole "get all the way ready...including makeup" bit, but otherwise, she set me up for a successful day.

2. My girlfriend knows that I have a dark side/vengeful side, so she didn't even consider trying to stop me as I fantasized about all the ways I would get revenge on 2 separate exes throughout my 6-hour shift.We came to the agreement that I would not *actually* exact revenge, even though it was ingeniously creative and of the harmless "kill 'em with kindness" variety...on account of the fact that revenge of any sort would categorize me as the crazy ex. We couldn't agree on which motto to stick with: dignity is always more satisfying than revenge OR success is the best revenge--either way I just gotta keep. being. awesome.   

2. My girlfriend knows that I love feeling accomplished, even in routine tasks (I merchandize for Old Navy...oi), so she gave me my space as I busted my butt to finish my displays. She congratulated me on a job well done as my boss and I discussed how I've improved over the course of the past month. 

3. My girlfriend knows how much I love to flirt, so she didn't even get jealous when I sent flirty text messages to a couple choice beaus on my lunch break.

4. My girlfriend knows I have an impish curiosity regarding that which seem gross/uncouth/weird, so she caved and bought me Lay's Chicken n' Waffles flavored potato chips along with another indulgent favorite: SoBe cranberry grapefruit juice. We were delighted to find that the weirdy-weirdy-pants chips tasted of syrup and a hint of regret, but not loneliness.

5. My girlfriend knows that the most satisfying time of the day is nakie time, so we spend a couple hours traipsing about the house in our loveliest underwear and scrolling through facey and tumblr, all punctuated by bites of leftover Thai. She really is the best.

6. My girlfriend knows I LOVE Cocorosie, so we got all giddy together over their forthcoming album, Tales of a Grass Widow. Happy, happy, happy.

7. I want to give a second shout out to #5.

8. We watched this:

...............cannot be unseen.

(but it is SO WORTH all 8 minutes. My favorite part: 5:48-6:05 and 6:53-7:10. SO MUCH YES.)

Also, let's face it--there's a good chance this could be me in 40 years. I've accepted it. My girlfriend's accepted it. Accept it, guys. 

 9. My girlfriend knows how important my friends are to me, so we sent Valentines to some of mah peeps, either via text or interwebs (she didn't even suggest trying to actually mail something because she also knows I'm a lost cause in that department).

10. We seriously considered making this but then seriously considered the consequences:

11. My girlfriend knows how much I love poetry, so we went to a poetry slam and open mic-ed it up.

12. My girlfriend knows I'm a sucker for making new friends, so we met some new people and felt wild and young for the first time in a while.

13. My girlfriend bought me flowers. FOR 50% OFF, NO LESS!!! She loves me and I. love. her.

In conclusion, I'd say Valentine's Day was a smashing success. I was truly happy all the day long. 

How was yours?

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